Molly and the Toenail Caper

I have the hardest time cutting Molly’s toenails. The other cats don’t seem to mind it that much, in fact Casper is so mellow that I can hold him on my lap and clip his nails by myself. Ben and Archie are a bit squirmier and require a twosome for the task but Molly on the other hand could probably use a SWAT team. She has an irrational fear about getting her nails clipped and it is a traumatic event for all involved. Robert has to hold her down on the bed making sure that her head can’t move and I have to work fast to get at her toes before she wriggles free and attacks. It is not fun and as a result her toes are quite neglected and we can usually hear her clicking across the hardwood floors.

Molly takes daily tablets for hyperthyroidism which is quite common in senior cats and occasionally her medication needs to be adjusted. At a recent vet visit for a routine blood test they offered to clip her nails, which were embarrassingly long and made me look like an inattentive cat mother. I readily accepted the offer! At this time I felt it only fair to warn them that the featherweight cat who was cowering on the exam table transforms into 5lbs of raw fury when you try to touch her feet. The vet looked at me disbelievingly and whisked Molly away into the back room, I went into the waiting room. All was quiet for about two minutes; I figured they were doing the blood first. Then the yowling began. Through the closed door of the treatment room, I could hear her murderous howl (at volume eleven). The receptionist looked stricken and I’m sure thought some poor cat was in the death throes! I was not moved by the sound, I had heard it all before and sat composed on the bench and waited for them to return my puma to me. A technician emerged with tiny Molly cuddled in her arms, once again innocent looking and docile. I smiled at her and said nonchalantly “how’d it go”? She answered that all had been fine when they took her blood and that she didn’t flinch, but she had become quite agitated when they cut her toenails (understatement). I smiled and replied “that might explain why her nails were so long”.

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